Life is Short

Hey lovelies! This post is another one of those ‘motivational’ type posts, but also kind of a rant about how life is too damned short. This of course isn’t something I am just realizing, but something I am recently becoming very passionate about. I hope you guys agree with my views, and maybe feel just the teensiest bit inspired.

Recently, I have been sorting through a lot of things in my life which made me realize…I am two years away from being finished with school. I have been going to school since I was 4 years old. What do I do now? That’s really what got me thinking about life in the bigger picture. What have I really accomplished in terms of my dreams and goals? Honestly, not a whole Hell of a lot.

So here we have it ladies and gentlemen, another post that will hopefully be inspirational without being cringe (it is a very fine line between the two).

So to start off, I thought I’d just share this picture of me living my best life on a unicorn pool float. Because there was really no better way to start this post.

Seriously though, I’ve been realizing lately that life is so short. Time goes so quickly and before you know it everything is just a memory and honestly…that scares me. Sometimes even as I am living in a moment, I know that soon it will be over because time really does fly. But lately it has been flying a little too fast for me.

I mean, I remember my Luke Bryan concert like it was yesterday even though it was over a year ago. This has to be one of my best memories, but that’s the whole problem, now it is just that. Just a memory. Because time slowly steals every last second from us, so why wouldn’t we make the most out of every second? There is actually a spoken word poem called ‘Time’ by someone named Kurt Schroder that I would really recommend you watch because he talks about just this. Cramming every minute with 60 seconds well spent. To me, that spoke volumes.

Honestly, I am 20 years old and so far have done nothing that I most want to do in this world. I keep putting these things off to ‘do later in life.’ But what if I wait too long? Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone, and wouldn’t you want to pass away with no regrets?

I’ve been putting these things off because…well because I’m scared. And isn’t that a lame excuse. Why haven’t I told that boy I have liked for years how I really feel? Why haven’t I gone to Paris? Why haven’t I told off that girl who treats me like dirt? Easy. I’m scared. I keep thinking there will be a tomorrow where EVENTUALLY I’ll do it. But that’s the wrong mind set, if I don’t do these things now, what if I never do? I mean of course, with the travel things I want to do, there is always the issue of money. I have worked ever since I was 16/17 and I feel like I still haven’t gained any money. Really though…isn’t money just a piece of paper? I can always make more, so that is no real excuse either.

There are so many places in this big beautiful world that I want to see and yet I haven’t seen anything outside my own country. No spontaneous road trips, no book a plane ticket to anywhere…I’ve done none of that. Why? I literally have no excuses.

I just keep thinking that maybe one day I’ll get there…one day. But here is my new perspective. What if that day never comes? What if I wait too long and I never get these chances that I have now again? Anything could happen, especially with the state of the world as it is right now…who really knows how much longer we have left on this Earth? So the real question is: Why would I hold anything back? What is actually stopping me? Me. I am standing in my own way. And that needs to change.

I want to live my best life, a life that I am proud of. A life that, if I ever get the chance to have kids, that they can be proud of. I want to know that at the end of the day I lived my life with no regrets and always pushed myself to be just a little braver and a little more adventurous than the day before.

Basically, time goes fast…too fast. There is no reason not to do the things you most want to do in this life. You are the only one holding you back…I know that is true of myself too. I need to stop holding myself back and be my own inspiration. Don’t wait, please don’t wait. Anything can happen in this crazy unpredictable world we live in. Your dreams can become a reality if you can just believe in yourself for like 5 seconds to take that leap. Which is something I am finally starting to realize.

And it doesn’t have to be crazy and scary. Start small. Tell the boy you like that you like him. Try a new food that you have never tried before. Pierce your nose if that is something you have always wanted done. Do all the little things you have always wanted to do, and then soon the big things won’t seem so big and scary. Don’t be afraid anymore, there isn’t time for that, live YOUR best life.

I believe in you. If I can be brave, I know you can too. Before you know it everything will be a memory, so make sure they are good ones.

 

Love always,

Hailey

Why Love is Hard

Hey lovelies! I feel like I am forever apologizing for being so inactive, but I think by now everyone is used to me posting once a month give or take. But I promise you I have so many ideas for blog posts that I can’t wait to write for you guys.

Lately though, I have been inspired by the millions of romance novels I read in the summer (shocker). And I started thinking about love, specifically what love means to me and why it is so hard to find love (other than my unrealistic expectations of love BECAUSE of the romance novels). Hopefully I can articulate my thoughts without it being too cringe – here goes nothing.

I guess I’ll start off with explaining to you what I think love is, because everyone you ask will describe it differently, and it is always hard to define. To me, love is so much more than butterflies in your stomach and seeing stars in their eyes. Of course, it is those things too – and its the feeling when their hand reaches for yours and they make contact with your skin and every nerve-ending feels like its alive.

But, it is so much more than that. I think, when you find love – real love, something inside you shifts. It’s like you find a piece of you that you didn’t even know you were missing, like the other person completes you in a way you didn’t know you needed. And it isn’t that you were nothing before them, it’s that they bring out the absolute best in you – they make you a better you.

Personally, I have only ever been in love once, but I have loved so many people. I think that’s an important difference too…the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. I mean, I have loved family, friends, animals, etc. But being IN love is so entirely different. It’s kind of like what I just said, the other person becomes a part of you in a way that no other person ever has. They make you happy just because they exist, and all you want in the world is for them to be happy the same way you are. When you are in love with someone, they consume you entirely. They are every much a part of you, as you are a part of you. I’m not sure if I’m making the most sense with this, but its almost an indescribable feeling. It’s like being in love changes how you see the world, everything is that much…better.

Love is this great big complicated thing, bigger than any one of us, but somehow, we find it everywhere. It’s in the little things, like your boyfriend/girlfriend surprising you at work with coffee. Or your great-grandparents in their old age still giving each other a kiss goodnight. Or watching your mother kiss your siblings booboos.

But love isn’t easy. Being in love isn’t easy. And there are so many reasons for this, but here are a few reasons why I think love is hard – it requires actual effort from both people involved to make it work. Has anyone ever experienced one-sided love? Where you are giving your all and all the other person is doing is taking what you are giving, but giving nothing in return? It hurts, a whole hell of a lot, and it totally drains everything out of you. Love requires two people giving and taking. Not one person doing all the taking while the other person gives everything they have, leaving nothing left for themselves. Love is hard when you are in love alone – it’s hard enough when there are two people in love, but when one person is in love alone, it exhausts you emotionally and physically.

Another thing that is hard about love, is when you disagree. How do you deal with problems without totally destroying yourself or the other person? I actually had a friend say something to me the other day referring to himself and his girlfriend. He said “It’s never her and I versus each other when there is a problem, it’s us together versus the problem.” And I find so often that we are fighting with each other instead of fighting together against the problem. So many people don’t realize that it takes both people to work out the problem…I know that first hand. I am one who is so stubborn that it often becomes a battle of who is right and who is wrong. But it can’t be like that, it isn’t healthy and that’s just one reason that love is so hard, because we don’t nurture it, we try to destroy it.

Of course, there are more reasons I think love is hard. In my humble opinion, I always believed that when you love someone, you love them forever – either that or you never really loved them in the first place. And when I love, I love hard. That’s the difficult thing about feeling so deeply – when I love someone, I love them with everything I have in me, and part of that love will always stay with me, even if the person doesn’t. So when that love is broken, I break into a million pieces.

But I guess what I had always believed, isn’t always the case, because people seem to fall out of love as easily as they fell into it. And how scary is that? The idea that someone who once treated you like their whole world can suddenly act as though you mean nothing to them…that terrifies me. And it has happened to a lot of people, myself included. How do you deal with something like that? Well of course…it’s hard. But I have other blog posts about how to deal with that…with heartbreak.

Love is so hard because it can absolutely destroy you, and every time you open your heart to someone new, you run the risk of a massive heartache. I am not sure how many of you are familiar with country music, or Old Dominion…but they have a new song and one of the lyrics is “You gotta love like there’s no such thing as a broken heart.” Which is true, because every time you love someone you make the conscious decision to pretend you have never been hurt before. And that’s another reason I think love is so hard, because you never have any way of knowing who is going to hurt you and who isn’t. Because sometimes someone you love for years can hurt you worse than you can ever imagine, but you don’t know that when you start out loving them. So every person you love, you put your all into that love and let yourself fall for them, and you can only hope they catch you.

That’s another thing too, sometimes you meet someone absolutely perfect…but they aren’t perfect for you. I found this past year that is an issue I have been faced with quite a bit, I meet someone who is seemingly perfect, but they aren’t perfect for me. Either I have some flaw that they see in my, or with my luck they don’t live in my city – some of these boys didn’t even live in my country. What I mean is, they were created perfectly – but for someone else. That is another reason love is hard, because you find someone that makes you think “Hey, I could see myself dating you, maybe even loving you one day.” But they aren’t the one for you. Which is equally devastating as everything else I have talked about so far.

I guess in all this, what I’m trying to say is that love is so precious, and rare, and special – that if you are lucky enough to find it, you hold on tight and don’t let go. Nurture that love so that it grows into this big beautiful thing that makes this life brighter and fuller than ever you could imagine. Love allows you to see the world through rose-coloured glasses and it makes everything inside you shine with a new light. So please, if you have someone you love, who loves you back – if you believe in the power of your love, then it doesn’t have to be so hard. After all, can’t two people love each other and that can be enough? That’s how it used to be, before the world become such a complicated mess.

Maybe one day it can be like that old world again, where two people love each other and that is enough, but for now, love is hard. But if you can find someone who is willing to match your effort and make your love work, you have found something truly precious. Love is hard, but if it works, it is the most incredible thing in this whole wide world and I hope one day you all have the chance find it. And I hope I do too.

 

Love always,

Hailey